my daughter from mars

"Get one in each size."

"She doesn't need 3 different sizes of the same onesie."

"She's going to out grow the first one and then she'll have the second one, see?"

"You're pretty serious about putting her in this onesie.  You're making a long term commitment to it."

"It's a Ziggy Stardust onesie for christ sakes, you gotta make a commitment.   It's covered in little Ziggy lightening bolts.  I want our daughter to know that little girls can rock to and i want the world too know she rocks more than the rest of them."

That ended the discussion over whether or not our daughter would be getting three of the same onesie from a local Target.

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I will go ahead and admit it now, I hate shopping for children's clothes.  When my son, Spider, was Rae's age it seemed easier.  You put little boys in clothes that they can tear up.  A little spit up, ketchup, diaper leakage, and mud and then you go out and buy another outfit who's lifespan will be just a short as a red shirt guy on Star Trek.  

Little girl's clothes requires more involvement.   There's the shopping which could and usually involves trips to different retail chain stores to buy clothes that she is going to out grow in two or three weeks.  Then you have the choosing of the outfit.  A pointless little ritual because even the baby knows while you're picking out a hat/shirt/pant combo for her that no one will take the time to put it on her more than once.  Better take the picture while you can moms and dads.

Of course, the intent of the clothes is also different.  Little boys clothes are meant to be destroyed; little girls clothes are meant to doll them up.  A little spit up, ketchup, diaper leakage, and mud become a late 90's era apocalyptic disaster movie. A single stain renders the entire ensemble useless, a nightmare for most of us.  Then after you wash, rinse, you will repeat.   It's back to the store.

I decided early on in the shopping for her spring and summer clothes that little boys clothing was cooler looking.   10 different kinds of tshirts that i would wear if they came in my size.   All designs covering a broad range of imagination and interests.  Little girls clothes, well, princess in training or daddy's princess?  Teddy Bear fashionista or a kitty cat that makes you understand the lyrics to The Dead Kennedys song California Uber Alles more than ever.

No, my daughter can be into anything.  Do anything that anyone can.  She will and should be who she is and not be held down by what focus groups think she needs to be guided towards.  What if she wants dinosaurs to pilot ufo on a tshirt?   What if she hates ponies and the trampy looking vampire and werewolf girls that at any age will teach a little girl never to be comfortable with herself or her body.  We are not going to dress her in gender specific  clothes.

Just earlier that week i began playing music specifically for Rae.  She would wiggle and gurgle with excitement, or at least that's how i interpreted it, at the music she liked.  This onesie was different.   It was specifically for boys.  It was black with red trim around the neck and covered in little grey lightening bolts.  Just like the Ziggy Stardust lightening bolt.

There was no internal debate over the onesie.   She was going to have it.  She was going to wear it.  I could see the obsessed Bowie fan in me coming out and dressing her in the outfit every day as long as it was clean.  Spinning a vinyl copy of The Rise and Fall of Ziggy Stardust and The Spiders From Mars with my daughter.   Dancing around our living room to Moonage Daydream with her in her papoose hanging from my chest.

I could see her growing up and challenging the ideas and beliefs of anyone and everything around her.  Bending the gender line, breaking the rules to make them work for her.  Bowie wrote "Queen Bitch", but Raegan could do it better than that.  That's how my imagination ran over this article of clothing.   

Now we are two years old.  in the backseat of the car listening to daddy sing Cat Steven's songs on spotify.  not reacting too much-- change the song.  Time to get our energy levels up.  The guitar to Hopeless Romantic by The Bouncing Souls comes on and Rae starts playing air guitar in her car seat.   When the drums kick in she abandons the air guitar and begins pumping her fist in the air and rocking her head up and down.   

I see all of this in the rear view mirror.

 I see that little rebel. 
I see that little rocker.  

Rocking as hard as anyone else can but doing it better.  I remember the onesie, and what I believed it would be.  What I believed it would mean.  It was just a symbol though.  I wanted my little Wilde child to be strong, and she is.  

Little girls rock.  My daughter will not wait for anyone else to start the dance for her.  She will start rocking for everyone else.  She's the blessed, she's a spider from mars.