no, i didn't wake up like this.

if you really want to break it down, I am worrying about a paint that I put on my face sometimes multiple times a day to make me more sexually appealing.  that's crazy. the idea of almost ritualistically putting "your face" on every morning.  when you really stop and look at the ridiculousness that is makeup you wonder how all us women somehow that suckered into this "ultimate joke."

but damnit, I still love the stuff. 

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it started out that I was just going to throw away some old makeup.

 it's amazing how quickly things can evolve.  somehow my minimalism crash course has spun into not shampooing my hair anymore and returning back to my roots (har-har) of keeping chemicals out of my beauty regimen.

yes, it's crazy. I'm a blonde who gave up shampooing her hair and joining the "no-poo" movement.  I'm currently on day 4 and my hair is suprisingly not greasy, but it's hard. and i'm resisting jumping in the shower and using my chemical-laden shampoo just for that "squeaky-clean-hot-shower-and-deep-shampoo-feel."  but alas.  I'm trying to be minimal here.

and I want to cut back on my chemical usage.. again.  over the past few years I've dabbled with using only organic or homegrown products, but I usually end up standing in the toiletry isle cringing at the markup on organic and natural products, and I can't find a deodorant that works that isn't chemically derived.   but I'm here and ready to give this thing a whirl.  

so first off, I have to show you my makeup counter and all the useless makeup I have amassed over the years. and this is a big deal for me because it is always the messiest part of the house.  you throw your makeup on, and then leave the mess, and it's always there.  a self perpetuating glob of everything self-care.  it's nightmare inducing.

yes, i know it is horrid.

oh, the humanity.  my stacks of eyeshadow pallets, and baskets of random makeup bits has got to stop.  i have to pare down here.  i have to swallow my pride and get rid of what i don't need, but before i do that i need to figure out what i do need.  now, i'm not getting rid of things that i need to look presentable, or things that keep me clean, but i am going to pare down on the frivolities that my current self-care regiment is full of.. 

Makeup and toiletry needs:

• facial lotion- Cetaphil (chemical free and great for breakout prone skin)
• body lotion- crunchymamas lotion stick, Palmer's cocoa butter, coconut oil
• toothpaste- tom's fluoride free
• mouthwash- jason cinnamon clove
• deodorant- currently chalk full of chemicals.. Dove
• soap- Dr. Bronner's Castile Soap
• dry shampoo- Acure Organics Argan Stem Cells
• lip balm- crunchymamas clove 
• foundation- BareEssentuals
• mascara- Great Lash
• face wash- coconut oil and coffee grounds
• blush- Nars
• Bronzer- ELF
• sun-in

and that is what i need to survive.  if i were packing for a trip, said things above (plus toothbrush, floss tweezers, etc) would have to come with me.

and it's cray-cray how I used to be okay with just lipgloss and mascara, but somehow I've spiraled out of control with the makeup I need.  

I don't want all this stuff tying me down anymore, but I keep on catching myself leaning over the trash bin and rationalizing why I need all this crap.  and it's because I don't want to admit defeat.  there is something very sad about throwing away a $20 eyeshadow that's been used only enough times to count on one hand.  it's admitting you spent something frivolous, and when you have a family--something like that is enough guilt to keep you up at night.  

this is my "minimal self-care"

but I tried to let go. and I'm trying to minimize my footprint, not only for the environment, but for my own sanitary.  because it's frustrating in the morning when you have a million things to do to look decent.  so, i am taking out as many steps as i possibly can.  because no one is going to remember if you didn't have enough eye makeup last Tuesday.

I threw away a bag full of old mascara, eye makeup and anything else you can manage to think of, but I still have so much stuff.  so many things I'm still stuck on holding on to.  I didn't get rid of as much stuff as I wanted to, but I did make a rather large wound in my collection.  that's something I have to feel good about. 

goodbye!

so, I'm done with shampoo and hair straighteners, but I can't get rid of all my makeup.. I'm done with leave in conditioners and all that stuff that's full of stuff I don't want in my body. and partially because i am trying to convert to a minimalist lifestyle, I don't want the hassle, I want healthy hair and I want more time.  

I am keeping some eyeshadow pallets because I like them and sometimes I do like to jazz myself up, but I started to think, "why is our culture set up to where stuff like this is necessary?" 

it's worrisome and heartbreaking that my little girl will have to go through the anguishing bit of learning to pluck one's eyebrows, and she will too probably swing between having too much and too little oil in her hair. and there is nothing I can do, no amount of sheltering and educating I can do will stop the force that is the women's beauty care machine.  we as women are taught to never be comfortable in our own skin, that we need all this extra stuff to be better.

I am guilty of falling into this trap, of being forever scared of going out in public without a lick of makeup but I have been trying to make the transition recently, and funny enough my skin got more clear the less makeup I wore.

which is funny because, ya know, you use makeup to cover up your imperfections.  but in some cases they cause more and then you end up slipping into this vicious cycle. 

so, again I'm taking baby steps with minimalism, and something that turned from needing more shelf space turned into giving up shampoo and spending less time on my hair.

because we only have a finite amount of time on earth.  and I don't want to be in my deathbed worrying about how many times I spent 30 minutes trying to find the perfect outfit, or spent 45 minutes deep conditioning my hair because I washed it everyday.

Day 1, 2, 3, 4 of no shampoo.

i didn't wake up like this.