I'm wearing a sports bra and a green pair of UMBRO shorts I distinctly remember from YMCA soccer. trin is on the other side of the bed wearing a leather jacket, sunglasses, a Gang Of Four shirt and leather gloves. I take a sip of coffee from a green coffee mug and I look down and see a swarm of ants flowing out of the top portion of the mug. they are walking out of my coffee and forming swirls around the brim of my cup.
I calmly put the cup down and tell trin we have ants.
"we've always had ants"
I pick up a white cup of coffee and resume my conversation, not even phased by the colony of ants now scurrying on my nightstand.
trin remarks on the years it has been since I washed my hair. it feels healthy and I can tell it is all the way down my back.
it's dark and all I can see are the two lights at the end of cigarettes. mine and trin's. I see another lit cherry from someone in the corner. I know they are there. I don't know who they are, but their presence is allowed.
I ash again in the old Wendy's cup and come to the decision I have to go to Florida. it comes out naturally like its no big deal.
at this point, I leave the room and walk onto a bus full of my 1st grade classroom. I realize how much bigger I am than them in comparison and throw on a black sweatshirt to cover up.
no one seems to notice how much older I am, and I listen to them talk and gossip at the back of the bus. I'm with the mean kids so I decide to quickly go over 3-4 rows of bus seats and sit with the ones I like.
a tall blonde man tells me the trip is delayed to bad weather, but we are still making the journey. it's just longer than expected. I look for my cellphone and realize I don't have one, just my iPod photo loaded with music. I have no contact with anyone and I seem to be okay with that. I'm sitting alone on the bus with my peers and I'm looking out a frosted window. I plug into my iPod but no music distinctly plays.
I look to the very front of the bus and my high school friends are mingling with my college friends and I wave excitedly at them, but I decide not to move seats. I hear a man's muffled voice but I can't clearly make out what he's saying. it's in a conversational tone. I lay my head back on my seat.
I wake up in my own bed and it's the present, but I can't shake my ((apparent)) dream. I look at my nightstand and check for Wendy's cups, ants or coffee mugs. I place my two feet on the carpet to realize it's still there. the fan beside my bed makes me realize how sweaty I am.
I take two steps and stop and check my plants. they are still living, and I hear Rae stir in her bedroom. it's 9:00am and she's just now waking up.
trin's asleep and I lean over to wake him up, he instinctively picks up his smartphone and goes through the news.
I meet rae at the gate on her bedroom door and lean over and pick her up. I'm greeted with a kiss and a hug.
the three of us lumber downstairs and I ask trin to make a pot of coffee as I ready Rae's morning milk cup.
coffee is done.
I'm handed 4 pills all in distinctly different shapes and sizes and I start to take them.
and then I think about my dream again, I think about the ants and the bus and I wonder if it's just the medication or if it really all means something.
I finish my cup of coffee and head upstairs to get ready. I see a lone ant crawling on my shower curtain. I let it go.
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