i love my things, and stuff, and junk, and whatever.

yesterday i posted about scaling back on my possessions. i was trying to figure out at what point did owning my possessions meant they owned me.  my constant shuffling of books and DVDs meant that a large amount of my time was wasted making sure these things had their own space.  my clothes are even worse,  but i have to take this stuff one step at a time.  because it is a ton of work.

if you didn't get a chance to view my post, you can do so here.

tomorrow is makeup and possibly clothes.. which i am not looking forward to.

but this is what i did today.  which was a major step in the right direction.

so here we go..

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today I went through a back catalog of shitty books and old DVDs. I was able to let go of my Venture Bros DVDs, all of my Charlaine Harris books (Sookie Stackhouse series), the new Lena Dunham book (which fucking sucked) and even my crappy collection of subpar DVDs.

and I was terrified. 

okay, maybe I am exaggerating. but it was uncomfortable.  I kept on trying to rationalize my reason to keep things I haven't used in years.  even things that I have access to on Netflix, or things that I hated.  every item meant that I had to track down when I bought it, discern if I have emotional attachment and figure out if I really liked it. which honestly is a ton of mental work.  

goodbye stuff!

but they are gone. packed up and sent to half price books where hopefully they will go and have a happy home (except for Lena Dunham's book which needs to be burned for being so cloying at points). 

and I'm still here. I got some cash, not much, and when they told me the amount ($28), I wanted to turn around with my beatup tote and put the stuff back on the shelf. that stuff had emotional worth.  movies I had watched when I had the flu, and books I had read when I was poolside. it's so hard to let go of stuff that ends up just being more stuff.

and I have a single bookcase now.  just one.  and i managed to cram in all my books, Blurays, the remaining DVDs and "downstairs" video games.  it's still a little snug  and i could afford to lose a few more things, but again this is not something that should be done all at once.  i just gotta keep telling myself baby steps when it comes to liberating myself from all this junk.

before and after the great purge from my bookshelf.

but once it was done i felt liberated.  no longer did i have to worry about not cooking anything out of my giant Thomas Keller cookbook, or feel guilty about not liking some of the books i have read.  and i had more space.

which led to another problem.  afterwards, since i am shopping for Zane's birthday i took a little innocent trip into Best Buy for a couple of things.  big mistake.  shopping the Bluray section i see the new release of one of my favorite films, Dr. Strangelove or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb (great film if you have never seen it by the way).

and i paused and picked it up and threw it in the cart and realized what i was doing.  I was trying to replace the stuff i had just gotten rid of.  i decided that was my only buy for the day until i saw Dragon Ball Z Season 1 on Bluray (ahem, don't judge my nerd-ery).  i had to throw that in the buggy.  but the level-headed Trin threw together some major wisdom instead..

"why don't we just buy Blade Runner and call it a day."

and that's what we did.  we just bought one film, and i am still on one bookcase.

since i was able to clean out my turquoise cabinet, i was able to convert it into some awesome storage for Rae.  which is the best thing ever.  now, i can store all those damn little people sets away!  No more stepping and tripping over her little army!

now one side product of freeing up some of Rae's storage space was that it conveniently freed up another block of storage on my overcrowded expedit shelves. so, with that extra space i was able to finally clean out my just-in-bin for vinyl.  

now, i am far from perfect.  i still have a long way to go.  but i feel as if i made a step in the right direction.  i don't want to be tethered down with all my stuff.  i don't want to be Audra The Collector of All Things.  I don't want to keep up with the Jones' and worry about the reading material on my bookshelf.  and that's what i'm trying to do.

running out of space.

now, i can't be one of those people that live out of one bag (hey more power to ya.), but i can be an example for my kids that things and stuff and gadgets and clothes don't make you, you.. and they sure don't make you happy.  you just wake up and realize you can't get into your closet to find a damn sweater.  so, over the next couple of weeks i am going to try to ease Zane into it.  i'll ask him if there is anything he wants to get rid of.  after all if he sells it or donates it or whatever, it's his stuff.  and let him make his own decision.  explain to him what his father and I are trying to do.  i am going to tell him we are going to  remove the clutter and spend more time together.

we want to try to identify less with our stuff and more with ourselves.  which is not an easy thing to do.  but i think it is something that can be achieved.  it's just hard to stomach it after such an extravagant holiday like Christmas.  but our little partially organic family is a work in progress.  and we can't stop trying.

so tomorrow.  i am going to tackle my makeup and possibly my closet.  i don't know about both.  but before that happens Trin and I will get in the floor and reorganize our alphabetized record collection. 

we will put them up and make them look amazing.  and we will put a couple on for Rae and dance in the living room like we do in the evenings.  

because i think it is okay to have things and stuff and junk and whatever.  but you have to do it for yourself.  don't collect books so you look smart, and don't collect makeup just to brag about your latest spending-binge at Sephora (Hey, I've done it before, too!).  whatever you do, do it for yourself.  not your family, friends, or significant other.  because when you are in bed at night, and it's just you and your brain and those moments where you are stripped of everything but your mattress and the darkness...

..you have to realize what you want and do everything in your power to try and do that..  and that's what happens when you get rid of one bin of stuff.  you somehow feel (even just a little) less of a burden from your things.  

i think i can get used to this minimalistic living.  just don't touch my fucking vinyl.