middle class: do we have too much or not enough?

can a two year old really be manipulative?

my daughter is systematically going through the knobs on my family's immigrant chest and unscrewing them.  i glare at her and sternly tell her, "No.  Don't touch!"  she giggles and resumes her dismantling process.  i begin the dreaded count to three and slowly walk over to her side of the living room.  at which point she runs over and gives me a hug and a kiss, as i bend down to explain to her how she can't take the knobs off.

i feel happy.  it is sickeningly sweet to have such a tiny human being show you such a large amount of affection, but then i feel the pang of something different.

did my child just manipulate me to avoid being scolded anymore?  can she even understand the depths of that?  am i spoiling my child?

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earlier in the day i informed zane that he needed to clean the kitchen early so i could get a start on my lavish sunday dinner plans (goulash, haha!).  he agreed and ran in the kitchen to finish the dishes and wipe down the countertops.  

a few minutes later, i realized he isn't in the kitchen and i had just been distracted folding a massive pile of blankets in the living room.  i do the stereotypical mom yell to him from the bottom of the stairs and he comes pounding down to give me a smug look.

"I was doing homework," he snarled.

"awesome, so you weren't playing video games or on your tablet or smartphone?"

"No, audra, i'm telling you the truth.. i was doing math homework."

"Cool, i'm going to run up in your bedroom and check on what you were doing."

"okay, i was watching a youtube video on how to do my math homework."

I just gave him a confused look and told him, "i'm just going to have to take a look at your stuff."

"alright, i was watching youtube."

the day before he was out walking my 13lbs japanese chin for 40 minutes in his pajama pants in negative windchill weather.  apparently arrow, our dog got a huge feat of strength and was able to drag 15 year old Zane to his best friend's house.  

"the dog made me do it."

so, zane has already been in trouble two times this weekend, and he lives by the rule of 3, which means he's going to get in deep shit one more time.  i'm waiting for it--can't be too long from now.

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our washer pipes have been frozen since tuesday, so today has been designated laundry day due to the thaw (hello Ohio winter).  so, for the past few days, i was stuck sleeping with my old crappy red comforter and sitting on a large amount of unwashed clothes.

i was able to clean my bedroom

and it is amazing how easy it is to forget how good you have it.  my five measly days without a washer and dryer have been hell on my laundry baskets and on me mentally.  even thinking about going back to the laundry mat is enough to give me nightmares.  watching your clothes tumble silently in bad lighting for 3 hours (shudder).

but less than 2 years ago we didn't even have the luxury of a washer and dryer in our own home.  it was a weekly trip to the laundry mat, with my green VW stuffed full of 4 people and all our clothes (rae was a newborn). granted i did score a used set off craigslist for $150, that was still a big purchase for us when we moved to our second town home.

and i think about the fact that less than 2 years ago zane didn't have his own bathroom to not flush his toilet in.  he didn't have a bed frame, entertainment center or flat screen tv.  just like i didn't have two dressers not to put my clothes in.  or 2 cars. or a microwave. hell, rae didn't even have a room, but she quietly slept in her crib in our bedroom.

but we were happy.

we as a mccue family have come a long way from eating eggs and beans and rice our first year in Columbus.  but i feel as a family we have forgotten what it is to be humbled.  it is easy to forget that time you had $300 in your bank account to last two weeks and you still had not bought groceries.  and it's up front in your mind the time when you had extra money to blow.  and how amazing it was to buy more things. 

rae's kinda minimal bedroom

but at what point do you say that yourself and your kids have enough and to stop being so damn materialistic? do we have too much?  because right now, my dream town home with 3 bedrooms and 2 baths in Reynoldsburg seems too small (when 2 years ago it would seem huge).  and i catch myself being upset that i can't fit a sectional in our living room.  i catch myself lusting over the idea of having TV screens in a large SUV so i don't have to hear the kids arguing in the backseat anymore.

so, at what point do i correlate us having more with us being spoiled?  i think back when we didn't have a washer and dryer, when we didn't have 2 cars and when we didn't have all this stuff.  we didn't have as much free time as we do now, and we hell as didn't have the money.

back then off days were days spent in the laundry mat, and searching for deals at grocery stores.  they weren't filled of retro video game shopping and Starbucks visits.

zane didn't get the chance to play in orchestra because we didn't have the funds the first year we moved up here, but now he plays violin.  i'm sad to say the one major thing he wanted to do, is now like pulling teeth to get him to practice.  and rae didn't have an army of little people or enough Lego Duplos to build a small home.

somewhat clean living room

we have all that stuff now.  but i wouldn't say we are significantly happier.  so, is there a grey area between wants and needs?  how many time saving luxuries can i justify?  owning a washer and dryer do save me time and money, but what about everything else?

the new smartphones and tablets.  the designer boots and jackets.  when do you draw a line between too much for your family?

i think about rae climbing over and giving me a hug because she wants something like a toy or a gift.  i think about this new power of manipulation being used to gain things.

my mother tells me that all teenagers go through this phase and i am quick to point out that it is societal.  this is something that we have created.  among everyone it seems like just a race to amass more things.  and i'm just as guilty as anyone else about it.  it's just like that monopoly commercial with the Beats By Dre and McDonald's ad placement.

"I want it all. I want it."

when you look at us on paper, we look surprisingly middle class.  we have what we need, but it never feels as if it is enough, and how quickly you forget what you really have. welcome to the middle class rat race.

you just learn to covet what you don't have.

i'll wake up tomorrow and finish my laundry in my 1970's washing machine.  i think i could kiss them it feels so good to have them back.  if only it were a newer model.